The past nominees...
The monthly contest for the stupidest thing said about the Year 2000 problem
From Contest #9
This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):
John Koskinen, US Y2k czar, on
the plan by the Federal Reserve to put an additional $50 billion into circulation at the
end of 1999: "We can print more bills faster than they can take them out."
Sylvia Browne, famous psychic:
"How stupid are we that we can't just turn our computers to '2'?"
The latest from Italy...
The latest chapter in the Russian Y2k follies...
And we thought the Russians had problems...
For the "I don't have to worry, I have a Mac" crowd...
See the Super Bowl commercial on the Apple web site by
clicking on Hal above. And note their editorial comment: "Macintosh was
designed to work perfectly with dates all the way up to the year 29,940. But have no fear.
We're already hard at work on the Y30K problem."
Author and technophile Tom Clancy,
when asked "How big is the Y2K problem?": "I'm not that kind of nerd. I
hope it's not a problem on my computer."
Mikhail Salnikov, chief editor
of Compulog magazine: "The first problem for us was that we believed up until a year
ago that the 2000 problem was not a serious threat. ... Unfortunately, many specialists
left the state sector and went to the commercial market during perestroika (under former
Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev in the 1980s) and now there are not many people left in
the public sector to assess this problem. ... Russia can solve this problem herself."
Jon Censky, assistant community
development director for Mequon Wisconsin, on his recommendation for zoning variances for
two local men who want to put up windmill generators: "I'm going to recommend denying
this because of the potential impact on safety. ... If they waive the requirement in this
incident, they could be setting a precedent and would have to do so for everyone else who
wants to put up a windmill."
"If the millennium computer bug leaves supermarket
shelves barren, cities powerless and communities in chaos, Roy Leonard's $2,000
Magna-Chair might come in handy. He says it uses magnets to increase blood circulation -
useful for those too afraid to venture out into the darkness for exercise. And he says he
can't keep them in stock."
USA Today technology columnist Sam Meddis: "That
doesn't mean that computing errors might not result in hardships, perhaps some severe
ones, for businesses that haven't taken enough precautions. But hardships, even on a
global scale, don't justify techno-bedwetting nightmares."
Free-lance columnist Linda Stern:
"Don't worry about your personal computer. Macintosh systems never had a Y2K problem,
and most Dos/Windows machines are current enough to be compliant. For the most part, the
programs in your computer don't care what day it is."
Stupid Y2k Compliance Statements
A Y2k compliant...well, check it out here.
If you run across any Y2k compliant coffee cups (or anything else silly), please let us
know. Perhaps it's time to start a new category.
And now the the unofficial list:
I have a friend who was working on the y2k problem for a
large insurance company back in the summer of 1998. The company was doing quite well and
expected to satisfy it's plans for y2k compliance before the end of the year. So, this
company's marketing department went out and created a set of posters to advertise the
companies success. The slogan on the posters read: "Ready for the year 2000 in
A real air-head friend of mine was rolling her eyes when I
was expressing concern about the Y2K problem. She condescendingly gave me the advice,
"Just don't be anywhere near computers at midnight January 1st when the explosion
Overheard in line at a market: "Yeah, I heard this
*2KY* problem is gonna be real bad, with the computers. They say it happens every
Uttered by someone in charge of development of a live
product with live interaction to Mainframes' databases, RS 6000's and a variety of outside
vendor applications: "We don't need to check for Y2K. We coded everything with four
At a consulting company that is working on the Y2K problem
for big Fortune 100, I noticed that some equipment was shipped back from a pharmaceutical
company. This equipment which I am proud to say I didn't work on, was certified for the
big Y2K problem. The owner of the consulting company told me that the Y2K is more or less
a few days programming even though he has 5 software engineers working at the Fortune 100
company. The equipment that came back failed to work past 12:00 midnight!! any day of the
week!!!! It took 4 engineers one month to fix this bug. Can't wait for the Y2K.
From a Y2K forum on CNN.COM: "Another thing people
don't realize is that virtually all Y2K problems will sort themselves out, given enough
time, with no programmer input. The amount of time needed will vary from program to
On a BBC News 24 (British-based 24-hr news channel)
discussion programme on the Millennium Bug, one woman phoned in to ask why we couldn't all
just switch computer dates to the year 2001, thus bypassing the 2000 problem.
My wife was talking with a friend about the potential
problems with our food supply and power supply. She advised my wife that she is buying
wheat and she will grind it up in her new electric grinder and bake the bread in her
electric bread making machine. My wife asked her what she will do with those appliances if
the electric goes out and she said "Oh, I guess they won't work will they!?"
As the panic sets in, I get an increasing number of letters
telling me that vendors are Y2K compliant the funniest (well so I thought) was from
<Company Name Omitted> telling us that "None of the products we supplied will
stop working after the year 2000". The products they supply us with are our Security
staff, we're actually waiting for proof they they'll start working before then.
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