The past nominees...
The monthly contest for the stupidest thing said about the Year 2000 problem
From Contest #15
And Now, On To This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):
A very popular submission...
Stupid Patents (yes, we said patents)
If you've fixed your Y2k
problem, you may now owe someone money...
Not stupid, but still funny...
The American Bankers
Association is at it again...
Intel CEO Craig Barrett on the Y2k problem:
"It's been hugely popularized by the press because the press likes
chaos and crises to write about ... There may well be some impact in
obscure places in the world, which have essentially zero impact on the
world economy-it's going to be a nonevent for us."
president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston: "No one can give
1,000 percent guarantees of anything ... But we're beginning to start
feeling as confident about our systems now as we want to be at the start
of the year."
Admiral Richard Mies,
commander of U.S. Strategic Command, on the Y2k readiness of other
countries with nuclear weapons: "Certainly I have concerns, but to
some degree we've tried to reassure ourselves and we've tried to gain
assurances from those countries that they are addressing the Y2K problem,
and so to a certain degree our confidence is limited by the amount of
assurances we have gotten."
An unnamed FBI agent,
commenting on the FBI's plans to cancel vacations and leave over the Y2k
rollover period: "It's a mess ... They're very much behind. If it was
a 72 hour 'snowstorm,' you wouldn't bring out 12,000 FBI agents on
stand-by and, for the first time maybe in FBI history, cancel everybody's
annual leave for a 20-30 day time frame. That's very significant. In my
line of work, that's called a clue."
Senator Phil Gramm,
R-TX, from the question-and-answer session after the second leg of Federal
Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan's semiannual Humphrey-Hawkins testimony
before the Senate Banking Committee: "Well it seems to me we ought to
be encouraged that in the year 1000 they had to add a new digit, and you
had no evidence of economic disruption. And then the millennium before, we
had dates going down, and then they started going up, and yet no evidence
of disruption or chaos in the economy, so if they could do it then, surely
we could deal with it now, it seems to me."
Y2K Readiness Commission Chairman Basil
Logan, on the selection of "Ken the Cockroach" as the official
mascot for the millennium bug in New Zealand: "Love them or hate
them, I think he (Ken the cockroach) will be noticed and memorable."
Johnson County Iowa County Supervisor
Charles Duffy: "If this happens, it'll be the biggest goof-up in the
history of the United States ... The moral to this story is to just not
buy a computer."
And now the the unofficial list:
Something to put your Y2Koffee or Y2Koke
in, we presume:
No URL on this, but apparently this e-mail has been making the rounds:
By the way, there are lots of Windows fixes out there for Y2k problems. This is not one of them. Submitted by Jennifer Plant (who was the recipient of the stupid e-mail, not the sender).
These words came out of my father's mouth
this weekend....I am NOT joking....
I have one for your "unofficial"
list. We are a company that outsources to Microsoft - taking customer
calls on some of their products. In a meeting a few weeks ago we went over
our testing and the results of our third party compliance verification
with various representatives from Microsoft. The representatives came with
a list of questions they felt had not been addressed. At the top of their
list was, what were we going to do in the event US West Communications
(which supplies phone service to many Western States including the one our
call center was in as well as Microsoft's Corporate headquarters. Our
Telecommunications Director said, "Well, basically the same thing you
are - we will sit here and wait for them to turn the phones back on."
Then they proceeded to question #2, what were we going to do if AT&T
Communications failed? Our director again replied to that one, "Well,
if AT&T is down, there is no God. That basically means there is no
national communication system whatsoever since MCI Sprint and everyone
else relies heavily on AT&T. My personal plan at that point would be
to go home, build a fire and start killing small animals."
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