Duh-2000: The past nominees...
The monthly contest for the stupidest thing said about the Year 2000 problem

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From Contest #18

And Now, On To This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):

Stupid Patents, Part 2...
"[Bruce] Dickens tried to collect licensing fees from some companies in June but was turned down. This time, he got a lawyer. "Bruce believes he's made a significant contribution, and he should be reimbursed for it," attorney William Cray said."
You'll recall we told you about U.S. Patent #5,806,803 in Contest 14 a couple of months ago.  Not only does it cover windowing, as mentioned in the article, but also covers date expansion.  Which basically means: if you've fixed your Y2k problem you will be hearing from an attorney.  And if you haven't fixed your Y2k problem, you will be hearing from an attorney. Is this a great country or what?  Quoted on USA Today Businesses get unexpected Y2K bill November 11, 1999.

Once again, our friends the Russians...
Russian Labor Minister Sergei Kalashnikov: "Russia is ready for the millennium bug. It's true we don't have the money to do all the necessary work rapidly, but it will be completed before the New Year."
Notice he doesn't specify *which* new year.  Quoted on Yahoo News Singapore Russia to escape major Y2K disruption November 4, 1999.  Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.

Robert X. Cringely, (aka Mark Stevens) from his PBS Special "Y2K: The Winter of Our Disconnect": "The important thing to remember is all life will continue!"
Except, of course, for those who believe watching PBS specials on Y2k is "life."  Quoted on Yahoo News PBS pointlessly probes Y2K bug October 24, 1999.  Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.

A Mr. Weisfeld, in charge of Y2K readiness in Microsoft Israel: "Our system is already Y2K compliant ... but you can improve your Y2K compliance by using the special CD, which carries out some minor fixes." 
Hmm, so there's "compliant" and then there's "improved compliance?"  Quoted on The Register MS and Symantec spar over 'hoax' Windows Y2K email October 25, 1999.  Submitted first by Erick Van Selst.

Mike Benzen, president of the National Association of State Information Resource Executives, on NBC's plans to air a Y2K made-for-TV movie: "Nuclear plants aren't going to melt down. Airplanes aren't going to fall out of the sky. We don't want to see people greatly altering behavior."
Like watching NBC's made-for-TV movies, for instance.  We here at Duh-2000 are awaiting the  American Banker's Association take on this movie, which allegedly shows ATM's malfunctioning.  You'll recall they've already nixed commercials from several companies that dared to suggest that ATM's might have problems (besides long lines and running out of cash). Quoted on USA Today Analysts' new fear: Y2K the movie October 26, 1999.  Submitted first by Tom Renner.

Sir Jeremy Beecham, Chairman, UK Local Government Association "Local authorities have done a magnificent job, working with their partners, to ensure that the services they provide to their local communities will continue to be delivered without disruption. We must now keep up the momentum and use the remaining time to refine our plans and tell the public about our preparations." The article goes on to say that "Councils are planning to publish full information by the end of the year about their millennium preparations and the special arrangements for services over the millennium holiday period in their areas."
Thus ensuring minimal public panic if the plans are insufficient.  Quoted on the Department of the Environment, Transport and the Regions (UK) website LOCAL AUTHORITIES READY FOR YEAR 2000 October 20,. 1999.  Submitted by Peter Anderton.

And now the the unofficial list:
all those other entries whose sources couldn't be verified, but we liked anyway

In the remotest place here in the Philippines in which Y2K has not been known, one member of the family was asking: "Y2K?  Is it a delicacy?"
And perhaps more importantly, how does one clean and cook one?  Submitted by Danilo O. Pelias.

Working in the Purchasing Department for a major Pharmaceutical company, I was assigned the task of visiting suppliers to check for Y2K readiness. After a brief introductory conversation, I asked the owner of the company, "How ready are you for Y2K?". The owner without any hesitation promptly replied "We have ordered new calendars".
Paper ones, we hope. Submitted by Sanjay Patel.

My mom (78 years young) asked me, "What is the big deal about this Y2K thing? We went from 1998 to 1999 and nothing happened."
True enough.  Now if we can just make it from 1999 to 19100. Submitted by John Comeaux.

 



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