From Contest #2
The Candidates (the official list):
Merrill Lynch Report - Y2K: Implications of Investors:,
"The very complexity and dispersion of these systems is, in fact, insurance against a
complete shutdown of commerce when the millennium starts." and "Microsoft, Latin
America, and communism all changed radically in a lot less time."
Gosh, we're sure breathing easier! Quoted in the TechWeb article Merrill Lynch Paints Rosy
Y2K Picture, July 10, 1998. Submitted by Tom Scully and several others.
Anthony Au, a member of Hong
Kong's SME Committee: "There is nothing alarming about the millennium bug and Hong
Kong can get over it...It will take one minute to realise the problem, two hours to plan
and three days to test the new system."
Maybe Microsoft should farm out NT 5.0 to these guys. Quoted in Rueters Business
savvy HK brushes off millennium bug, June 24, 1998. Submitted by
Cliff Kurtzman.
Paul Saffo, futurist at the
Institute for the Future in Menlo Park, California: "We will muddle through. This is
not the end of civilization."
Quoted in Reuters, Millennium
causes some to head for the hills, July 17, 1998. As submitter William Hinsch wisely
points out: We "muddled through" various plagues (one of which reduced the
population of Europe by almost 2/3), the little ice age, civil wars and world wars without
it being the "end of civilization."
Dick Hardgrove, deputy
superintendent of banks for the Ohio Division of Financial Institutions: "We think
Ohio banks are fully aware of the problem. I won't go so far to say they are
compliant at this point, because they don't have to be."
Yet, anyway. Quoted in Business First's Regulators press lenders
on Year 2000 compliance, January 26, 1998. Submitted by R. Swab.
Dick Mills, Y2k pundit,
explaining why utility companies will have no problems restarting in the event of a
Y2k-related shutdown: "In an airplane, if an engine stops, the first priority of the
pilot is to fly the plane safely with the remaining engines. Later in the flight, or on
the ground, someone can worry about why the engine stopped."
And everyone knows the crew of the Titanic fixed that pesky "iceberg avoidance
system" as soon as they got to port. From his article Another Myth - We Must Fix all the Bugs
To Have Power, July 17, 1998. Submitted by Linda Wymore.
Paul Kedrosky, assistant
professor of commerce at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver: "Some
problems will cross the line from irritating to embarrassing; some may even cause damage.
But the likelihood of catastrophe, of global recession--let alone a return to
preindustrial society--is slim to none. People who say otherwise are selling
something."
And the sad part is that if people DO get off their butts and work hard to fix the
problem, the nay-sayers will say "See, I told you it wasn't going to be a
problem". Quoted in the Wall
Street Journal, July 20, 1998 (the online article requires a paid registration to the
WSJ site, but trust us, it's there). Submitted by Tom Crouch.
An Unnamed editor-in-chief of a
Russian computer newspaper: "I don't see any disaster. The
great Russian god "Luck" will help us. We are not a country as computerized as
America. In their country there are terminals rejecting credit cards expiring
after 2000. In their country the burning of a big business-center ruined thousand
of companies that had their offices there, because their computers burned. We do not fear
it, because here, out of absurdity, all is recorded on paper in parallel, and accountancy
is recorded on paper. Should all collapse, companies will invite intelligent students who,
for little money, will repair all in one month. Our disaster will be hundred times less
than in America. As for our army... nothing will happen. It is already in a shape that
cannot be worse."
We thought all the intelligent Russian students were already working for US Y2k
contracting firms. Even more reassuring news from the country formerly known as the Soviet
Union. Quoted on the Russian Y2k site http://www.year2000.ru/Press/Ogonyok-0298.html
(warning: the site is in Russian...hope you have your Cyrillic font installed). Submitted
and translated from the Russian by Thierry Falissard.
Alfred Waddell, president of
Waddell & Assoc., a Memphis investment management firm: "I think it's going to
pass with relative ripples. ... I wouldn't be afraid to fly on Jan. 1, 2000, nor do I
expect my lights to go out. I can't believe anyone who is intelligent, who is in charge of
anything dependent upon this, won't be on top of the problem."
They are on top...in perhaps the same sense that Slim Pickens as Major T. J.
"King" Kong was on top of the nuclear warhead towards the end of Dr.
Strangelove. Quoted in the Nando Times MONEY
MATTERS: Bracing your portfolio for the millennium bug July 26, 1998. Submitted
by Robert Blumen.
Archbishop John Foley,
president of the Vatican's Pontifical Council for Social Communications, commenting on
plans to make the millennial year into an extended 2,000th birthday party for Jesus and
concerns that the year would bring possible computer failures: "In all probability,
the year 1996 should have been the year 2000. It is possibly providential that the
four-year mistake was made by Dionysius Exiguus. Because if it hadn't been ... we would
really be in a bind. At least we have had four more years to get this straightened
out."
At the risk of sounding irreverant, we're glad he didn't err on the other side, or
it would already be too late! Quoted in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette Online Vatican plans year of
celebrations for millennium July 19, 1998. Submitted by Mark Maginity.
Lawrence A. Gordon, professor
of managerial accounting and Martin P. Loeb, professor of
accounting, The Robert H.Smith School of Business, University of Maryland: "In our
opinion, the ultimate outcome of the millennium bug will be a much stronger world economy.
In fact, we predict that, by April 15 2000 (tax day in the US), politicians, corporate
executives, and investors will be "dancing in the streets" due to the strong
positive economic effects emanating from solutions to the Y2K problem."
More likely dancing in the streets when people finally realize that the IRS won't
be able to process income tax forms for 1999 (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Quoted in The Financial Times Millennium
bug and positive consequences (requires free registration) July 27, 1998.
Submitted first by Jon Wiley, but also submitted by several other alert readers.
"Virtually all" of the federal government's
mission critical computer systems will be ready for the Year 2000 by President Clinton's
due date of March 31, 1999, administration Y2K czar John Koskinen said Tuesday.
Much more politically correct than saying "some mission critical systems will not
be ready." Remarks made before the National Press Club on July 28, 1998. Quoted
on GovExec.com Y2K czar says
feds will meet deadline July 28, 1998. You can also listen to his remarks on the
National Press Club's audio transcript site here.
AND
John Koskinen once again: "Our goal is not perfection. Our goal, if we are
really successful, will be that disruptions will be minimal and inconvenience will be
minor."
"Not Perfection" should be easy to achieve, and "minimal" and
"minor" are relative terms. If you fail to hit the target, redefine the
target. Quoted on Reuters N.
American power council sees Year 2000 readiness July 28, 1998. Submitted by
Marvin Stigter.
Special Government Nominee (though not a quote):
"AID (Agency for International Development) earned an A from (representative) Horn's
committee in 1996 because it planned to solve its year 2000 problem by replacing its
entire computer system. However, it acquired a system that was not year 2000-compliant,
earning it an F in Horn's 1997 grading."
Found in Year 2000:
Countdown To Federal Meltdown on Techweb, September 16, 1997. Submitted by Mike
Kenniston.
And now the the unofficial list:
all those other entries who's sources couldn't be verified, but we liked anyway
Management e-mail in response to a
query regarding Y2k status: "Some time ago you forwarded an inquiry from a
contractor about our year 2000 plans. I would suggest the following reply. '<company
name omitted> is celebrating its 100th anniversary this year. We encountered no
difficulties with the year 1900 and anticipate none with the year 2000. Be assured that
the company is 2000 complacent in all respects.'"
A Freudian slip if there ever was one. Submitted anonymously, but quite
worthy of inclusion on the unofficial list.
The following replies were received from overseas telecommunications service providers in response to queries regarding their level of preparedness for dealing with the Y2K anomaly/"Millenium Bug":
- "I've heard about it and that is the last comment I wish to make on the subject."
- "We're not concerned because we use the Buddhist calendar and we are already in the year 2054."
- "Y2K, we're not familiar with that. However in regard to the "Millenium Bug" ---not to worry my friend, we are prepared to spray everywhere."
Submitted by Ron Johnston.
"The current release is year 2000 compliant, and the
next release will be even more year 2000 compliant".
Anonymous vendor response to a Y2k compliance query. Submitted by Kay
Rozeboom