From Contest #6
This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):
Columnist Paul Kedrosky:
"Let's say that there's a 10 percent chance of something going wrong in a company
come January 3, 2000 (January 1st is a Saturday -- we'll all sleep through any
apocalypse). And imagine that probability is the same at other companies with which the
company does business. ... The probability of two companies having a problem is the square
of 0.1, or 1%. And the probability of enough companies simultaneously having a problem to
return us to the Stone Ages is 0.1 to a very large power -- effectively zero. But you
wouldn't know that from the "experts." Who knows what math they're doing? Likely
none at all."
Hmmm...wonder what the chances were of just one transformer coil failing in New
England on November 9, 1965? Quoted on the National Post Online The
Year 2000 problem is as silly and annoying as Monica Lewinsky November 17, 1998.
Submitted by David Brevner.
An unidentified reader of Jake Kirchner's column in PC
Magazine: "I really hate it," my correspondent wrote, "when supposedly
educated people like yourself don't understand that the new millennium doesn't start until
1/1/2001."
Oh. So if I'm a "millennium purist" I guess I won't have a problem
on 1/1/2000. Quoted on PC Magazine Online Bugged by the
Year 2000 November 20, 1998. Submitted by Jake Kirchner (we presume).
"The Kenyan government has formed a committee to
investigate problems that may be caused by the so-called millennium bug -- but its final
report is due to be published months after the much-prophesised collapse of non-compliant
computer systems. ... The Daily Nation newspaper reported that the government formed the
committee on October 19 and ordered a final report on the consequences of the millennium
bug in 18 months time."
Maybe they want the final report to include how effective the disaster recovery
plan was. Quoted on Reuters Kenya
millennium bug report to finish in April 2000 November 2, 1998. Submitted by Tom
Lion.
"With a self-imposed September 1999 deadline looming,
Chinese government agencies and government-owned enterprises are hard at work tackling the
millennium bug, the China Economic Times said Wednesday. ... The State Council, or
Cabinet, decreed last month that all government computer systems must be revised by March,
and millennium bug tests must be completed by September 1999. Those that fail to meet the
deadlines will be punished."
The floggings will continue until morale improves. Quoted on CNET News.com China sprays for Y2K
bugs October 21, 1998. Submitted by Tom Lion.
John Koskinen (once again), Y2k
czar: "We have been assured that any actions taken are not all computerised. Every
action – launching a missile, engaging in any military actions – requires human
intervention, so that we are reasonably confident there will not be accidents in terms of
systems automatically going off on their own".
Is it just us, or is anyone else bothered by the use of the phrase "reasonably
confident" in the same sentence as "launching a missile?" Quoted on
AFR Net Services Clinton's
tsar clears Games on Y2K hurdle October 28, 1998.
Mark Sainsbury, President of the New Zealand Inbound Tour Operators Committee: " "When you are talking about respectable airlines like Air New Zealand, you just take it for granted that they will have that covered. They are not going to let their aeroplanes drop out of the sky because of the millennium bug."
Mr Sainsbury admits ITOC has not yet talked with Air New
Zealand about the implications of Y2K. "
But we're sure they are working hard on the problem. Really sure.
Really, really sure. No need to worry. Nothing can go wrong. Quoted on
NZInfotechWeekly Y2K hasn't
scared away tourists booking NZ trips October 27, 1998.
Stupid Journalism
James Derk, Computer Research Editor for The Evansville Courier:
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An electronic mulligan? Might work. And be sure to speak to Captain Grace Hopper in the 1950's so that COBOL is defined with a four digit default year so we don't have this problem again. Quoted on Evansville Indiana Courier Electronic Edition Y2K bug not nearly as difficult as it seems November 9, 1998. Submitted by Heather Westerfield
Stupid E-Mail Entrepreneurs
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Will those Mac90's run the new iMac OS? And are those glocks Y2k gompliant?? Thanks to Nick Van Houte at Y2k Classifieds for sharing his e-mail with us.
And now the the unofficial list:
all those other entries who's sources couldn't be verified, but we liked anyway
Recently I decided to approach the administrator of the
little hospital (our neighbor) to ask him about their y2k preparedness efforts since being
the only medical facility around for miles, some of us are a little concerned. His reply;
after laughing out loud he said: "Oh, I'm not worried about all that millenium bug
stuff, that's just a silly hoax, and besides, by the time the year 2000 rolls around, I
won't be at the hospital any longer, I'm planning on quitting around October '99 and I'm
going to open up an antique furniture store!!".
Hey, come 1/1/2000 some of those manual typewriters and quill pens might come in
handy! Submitted anonymously by someone who wishes to remain in the good graces of
their neighbors.
"I'm not worried---I don't have a computer."
The ultimate extension to the "I'm not worried--I only have a PC" and the
"I'm not worried--I have a Mac" attitudes. An unidentified friend of Elaine K.
Kyle.
I am on a Y2K committee for our company and was trying to
explain to my husband the impact of the year 2000. He just could not understand how it
could be such a big issue: "There wasn't a problem in 1900."
Or the other 18 century years before that, for that matter. Submitted by Melody
George.
While visiting a computer store here in Toronto, I couldn't
help overhearing two eager teenagers arguing about the computer purchase their mother was
about to make. One teenager was sure to know every thing there is to know about the year
2000 bug, while the other one was contradicting. Right when I was about to leave one
teenager said to the other "When the year 2000 gets here, the coffee cup holder won't
open anymore". The salesman found it so amusing they got some free software for
making his day. And also made my day.
See. We told you weeks ago to stock up on Y2k compliant coffee supplies.
Submitted by Hector Tamm.
I am working on Y2K for one of Australia's leading private
hospitals. Part of the process involves checking the compliance of all of our suppliers.
One, a small goods supplier for one of the hospital's kitchens, returned this response :
"It won't effect me, I'm a supplier"
Good news! Apparently if your company is a supplier you are off the hook.
Submitted by Tony.
I own a radio station here in Florida. I went in to see one
of our advertisers recently and asked, "Have you heard our daily show about
Y2K?" She thought for a minute and replied, "You mean the breakfast
cereal?"
Snap, crackle, pop! Submitted by A.D. Whitehurst.
Another in the long line of infamous "unnamed
vendors": "we're not worried about Y2K, because all of our systems are fully
redundant."
In this case, that probably means their systems will fail twice. Or be twice
as expensive to fix. Submitted by Trevor Holyoak.
A lawyer for one of our clients recently asked for a copy of
our Y2K compliance statement. I mailed a copy to him, but he bounced it back. He wanted
all references to "the year 2000" changed to "the year 2000 A.D.".
Submitted anonymously by someone obviously too close to attorneys with too much
time on their hands.