From Contest #12
And Now, On To This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):
Someone's tax dollars (or pounds, in this case) at work:
"Hythe Borough Council has struck a blow against what it calls the cult of the
millennium by postponing its dawn until... 2001. Councillors representing the
15,000-strong community on the Kent-Sussex border voted 11-4 to carry the motion that:
"Hythe shows its independence and common sense by greeting the 21st century and the
third millennium on the correct date of January 1, 2001... Computers have addled people's
brains with the number 2000 !" stormed Denise Rayner, the motion's sponsor."
Addled indeed! Quoted on Computer Weekly Back to the future May 13,
1999. Submitted by Peter Anderton.
Larry King, writing for USA
Today: "I asked Ross Perot, who knows his way around
computers, if he is concerned about Y2K. He said simply, "There are two sure cures.
One, tell all the computers it's 1972. 1972 exactly apes 2000. Every day of every month is
the same and will follow suit for 28 years, so that gives you that much time to correct
the problem." Solution No. 2: Shut off all the computers, go manual for a while and
reprogram. "We can live manual," the former presidential candidate said. He did
not get rich being stupid, folks."
And since "72" is always greater than "99" all those date
comparison routines you were worried about will be fine too. Also a side note to
Larry: nor did he get rich giving away free advice. Quoted on USA Today Perot's Y2K cure: A '72 flashback
May 16, 1999. Submitted first by Christine Greenwald.
First it was Y2k compliant bread slicers from Sanyo. Now, it's Y2k compliant clothes. Check out the Rivers (Austrialia) clothing catalog. Spotted by Chris Jensen.
More leap year silliness...
Chris Peterson, Professor at the
University of Technology in Sydney: "For the first time in 400 years, it [the century
year] is a leap year, and not all computer systems are capable of interpreting that fact.
"
So consider yourselves warned: just because your date routines have run correctly
for the last 399 years doesn't mean they'll handle 2/29/2000 correctly. Quoted on
Fairfax IT A
blip in nine running out of time May 10, 1999.
Greg Webb, a vice president at
Sabre Group, dismissing the threat from Y2k related flight systems failures: "When
you take off from Dallas for Hawaii, it's not as if you have to make it to Hawaii to land
safely. There are any number of other airports along the way where you can land."
They do tend to get rather sparse, however, once you get past the west coast.
Quoted on The Dallas Morning News Y2K? Everything's A-OK May 9,
1999. Submitted by Christine Greenwald.
Progress in Australia...
"Frankston City Council's 56 per cent improvement in readiness largely related to the
fact it no longer included its golf course sprinkler system to be a critical business
system."
We will not--repeat not--be making any kind of snide comments about potentially
mission critical ball washers. Quoted on The Australian News Network Docklands Y2K readiness
exposed May 6, 1999. Submitted by Christine Greenwald.
"Worried? Not at all,'' said Robert
Kotick, chairman and CEO of game developer Activision of Santa Monica. "I
think it's entirely invented by a division of Microsoft.''
What, me worry? Actually, we found it hard to pick just one quote from this gold
mine of statements on Y2k by the computer industrys' most prominent CEO's. Quoted on
The San Francisco Chronicle High-Tech
Execs Not Bugged By Year 2000 Fears May 3, 1999. Submitted first by Bill Adsit.
Robert Erianne, Director of
Business Services for Parsippany-based Delta Corporate Services, Inc.: "Hence, the
Y2K problem where some systems cannot recognize 99 as 1999, potentially throwing
information back 100 years."
Huh? Actually, that would have been the Y1.999k problem. Quoted on Yahoo
PRNewswire Facing The
Future: Delta Consulting Eases Y2K Anxiety May 3, 1999. Submitted by Linda
Fitzpatrick.
Those wacky Russians are still at it...
[O]ne [Russian] bank with Y2K bugs refused to let Lannit Holdings, Relativity Technology's
Russian partner, look at it's computer code, calling it a trade secret. "Not the
database, not the information about the accounts and so on, says Wadhwa [Vivek Wadhwa, the
CEO of Relativity Technologies, the Cary, North Carolina company that sold the Russian
government the software to fix its Y2K problem], "They consider the code to be a
trade secret and they can't get them to give them the code to fix."
Begging the question: why would code riddled with bugs be considered a trade
secret? Perhaps we should ask Bill Gates. Quoted on CBNNow.com Russia & Y2K April 19,
1999. Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.
Michigan Y2k expo organizer Joseph
Almond: "Clinton's part of the reason Y2K's going to happen," he said.
"He wants Y2K to happen. He's the most immoral man who ever graced the White House.
He's the most dangerous man in America."
We suspect that 1/1/2000 will happen whether the President wants it to or not.
And besides, we thought it was all Hillary's fault? Quoted on Michigan Live Hundreds hear
message: Prepare for Y2K doom April 17, 1999. Submitted by Christine Greenwald.
"I haven't been told we're going to have
problems," said Trina Wagner, owner of Upper
Marlboro[Maryland]-based Monitoring Services Inc. "A lot of people deal with these
types of computer programs. I talk to them all the time. I'm sure it would come up before
January."
After all, vendors are notorious for voluntarily pointing out flaws in their
products. Quoted on The Fairfax Journal Md. aims for Y2K home detention
fixes by the fall May 3, 1999. Submitted by Heather Westerfield.
Stupid Journalism
"But even if New Year's Day turns out to be uneventful, some experts predict
the industry may have to be on the lookout for months to come because of other date
anomalies. February 29, 2000, for instance, does not follow the usual leap year convention
of the Georgian Calendar."
Sigh. Once again we feel compelled to point out that 2000 *is* a leap year and that
there *is* a February 29th. Why that seems to not follow the "usual" leap year
convention is quite beyond us. And not to nitpick, but shouldn't that be the Gregorian
calendar? Quoted on CNN.com Some phone carriers may not
be ready for Y2K group warns May 7, 1999.
"In January, the Russians raised Western eyebrows when
they threw up their hands and asked for technical assistance from the United States (and
money from the IMF) to fix their Y2K-unready machines. Needless to say, the vision of the
Russian military command staring at "cannot find file: strategic missile data"
on their frozen computer screens while poised to launch missiles capable of destroying all
life on Earth was a big motivator for the U.S."
Kinda lends new meaning to the phrase "Blue Screen Of Death" doesn't it?
We think a few reporters have seen the movie WarGames one too many times.
Quoted on Time The Russians Are
Crashing! The Russians Are Crashing! May 3, 1999. Submitted by Linda
Fitzpatrick.
Columnist Andrew Pollack,
writing for the New York Times: "Few programmers feel pangs of conscience about Y2K
in the way that some nuclear physicists rue having brought the world the bomb."
Imagine that. From an otherwise interesting article that wonders if
professional certification of programmers would have prevented the Y2k problem.
One wonders why no one is discussing the certification of managers and end-users in
charge of specifying stupid software requirements? Quoted on the New York Times
For
Coders, a Code of Conduct May 3, 1999. Submitted by Michael Tow. If you
can't get the article from the New York Times site, you can also read it here.
Helpful hint from CNN.com: "If your credit cards expire
after 1/1/00, carry a credit card with an earlier expiration date as a backup in case
retailers' equipment is unable to process the 00 card."
We're sure retailers won't have any problems processing cards that expire in 98 or
before. Better still: carry a card with the name of someone with a higher credit
limit than yours. Quoted on a CNN.com popup
window from their Y2k information area. Submitted by Dave Phillips.
A New Category: Stupid Press Releases
Found in a recent press release from Gillette
- the makers of Paper Mate pens among other things: "The survey also examined
Americans' feelings about who might be at fault if indeed, technology wavers on January 1,
2000. The largest proportion of respondents (24%) believe that the U.S. Government will be
to blame if there are major computer and electronic component failures. Another 6% of
respondents said that they would blame President Clinton specifically for potential
problems, whereas 1% of those polled found fault with U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Alan
Greenspan. While many Americans may want to blame the government for potential problems,
some respondents place the onus on the computer programmers who designed the systems (11%)
or individual companies/corporations (4%), while another 8% of respondents point the
finger at one Silicon Valley scion: Bill Gates. Another 2% (each) of those polled found
"society in general," "someone else" and even God, to blame."
Wow...almost 40% think it's the fault of someone named "Bill." The
same survey found, astonishingly enough, that 56% of those polled would fall back on pen
and paper if all the computers quit. Quoted on BusinessWire Recent Y2K Survey Shows That
"The Pen is Mightier Than the Microchip" May 6, 1999. Submitted by
Linda Fitzpatrick.
And now the the unofficial list:
all those other entries whose sources couldn't be verified, but we liked anyway
From a local newspaper: "I set the date on a VCR I have
at home that's 10 years old to Jan. 1, 2000 and it worked fine. If a little dinky VCR can
work, I see no problem with electric utilities."
And who are we to argue with logic like that. Submitted anonymously.
I was at a local electronics store listening to, what
appeared to be an intelligent well dressed gentleman talking to some pimply faced sales
clerk about purchasing a new blender. After discussing all the settings and how easy it
was to clean, the gentleman asks the clerk, "Is this blender Y2K compliant?".
The clerk, quickly nodded and disappeared, reappearing with an "expert"
supervisor. This "expert" perused the blender's box and, quickly pointing to the
UL approved sticker stated "see, this blender is compliant". Then he says,
"You know, your smart to replace your blender now, a lot of older ones won't work
after year 2000." I almost laughed, but the sight of all three of them standing there
nodding in agreement was just sad.
And we thought microwave ovens and toasters were the only problem appliances.
Submitted by Bruce Reynolds.