From Contest #14
And Now, On To This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):
A
very special "missed the whole point" award to:
"To bankers, at least, the Y2K bug is
no laughing matter, as instant film maker Polaroid Corp. (NYSE:PRD - news)
found out. The Cambridge, Mass.,-based company Wednesday [June 30] said it
has stopped running a humorous television ad to promote its PopShots
disposable camera after the American Bankers
Association complained the spot could hurt consumer confidence in
the banking industry. ... [The] complaining letter from the ABA convinced
Polaroid the ad was "disaffecting" a chunk of the audience."
Yeah...don't you hate it when your bank accidentally adds a
$1 million or so to your account? That would disaffect the hell out of
me! A side note to the ABA:
we all knew it was an unrealistic ad when the guy walked right up to the
ATM on a busy Friday night without having to wait in line. And a
special "wussie" award to Polaroid for caving in to the ABA and
pulling the ad. Quoted on Reuters Polaroid
Yanks Ad That Irked Bankers June 30, 1999. Submitted by Linda
Fitzpatrick.
And that's not all...
"Quite a number of bankers have told us that they are deeply
concerned about the KIA Motors television ad," the ABA [American Bankers
Association] wrote to KIA President and CEO B.M. Ahn last month.
"Your ad sends precisely the wrong message to the public about the
safety of their money during the calendar change ... The last thing this
country wants, or can afford, is a bank run." KIA's CEO wrote back:
"Give the American people credit. They get the joke." KIA told
the ABA that it would not pull or alter the ad. The bankers' displeasure
with the ad was so strong that KIA received a letter from one
Massachusetts bank saying it would not approve loans for KIA cars anymore,
KIA spokesman Geno Effler said. Declining to name the bank, Effler said
KIA may raise the issue with the Federal Trade Commission. Bankers
"really got into quite a flap about" the ad, said Ruth Grossman
of Goldberg Moser O'Neill, which came up with the idea for the spot.
"This just confirms to me that bankers have no sense of humor."
"
We have said for years that banks must put some kind of
chemical dust in their ventilation systems to make the people who work or
visit there dull and humorless. And it sort of makes sense: after
all you probably don't want witty, clever, and creative people around a
lot of money. The effects seem to wear off once you get the people
out of the bank, however--hence the "dull dust" theory (how else
do you explain Braille buttons on drive-up ATM's?).
Our take on the whole Y2k/ATM issue: the banks will be (mostly) fine and
the ATM's will (mostly) work, at least in the U.S. That having been
said--do we think there will there be long lines at ATM machines on New
Year's Eve? Yep. Will the banks be able to keep them stocked with enough
cash to satisfy demand? Probably not. We recommend you have enough cash
on-hand so you don't have to visit an ATM for a day or two either side of
1/1/2000, just to avoid the lines. And by the way, ABA, whining
about these ads tends to leave people with the impression that your
industry has something to hide. Quoted on Reuters Bankers
not amused by Kia, Polaroid Y2K ads July 1, 1999. Submitted by
Linda Fitzpatrick.
And you probably thought film wasn't invented until
the 19th century:
Submitted anonymously.
John Koskinen,
the Federal Y2K czar (again): "Businesses and government agencies that
are projecting system completion dates late this year have limited
flexibility for unexpected delays."
Things that make you go "duh!" Quoted on CNET
News.com Oil,
gas industries still working on Y2K issues June 28, 1999.
Submitted by Linda Wymore.
"As of June 20, Cathay [Pacific] had
tested its computer systems and each of the five types of aircrafts it
uses and found they could operate normally when the clocks in the
equipment switch over to the year 2000. It tested all of its five aircraft
types by turning the clock forward to the millennium changeover date of
January 1, 2000 while the plane was airborne. However, Cathay's Y2K
program manager Graham Keddie said not every
one of the airline's 57 planes were tested because it was difficult to do
so."
Now there's a good reason for not testing all the
planes. Not that we think any airplanes will fall out of the sky
because of Y2k (unless, of course, their microwave ovens or VCR's stop
working) but it would be nice to think that an airline cared enough to
test all of it's equipment. Quoted on Yahoo News Asia Cathay
Pacific says it is Y2K compliant, but airports not yet ready July 6,
1999. Submitted anonymously.
Stupid Journalism
"Many have predicted that the
virus--which affects systems that can't compute the year 2000--will shut
down power systems and cripple companies."
Virus?? Probably caused by touching contaminated keys
at an ATM. Quoted on The Business Journal (San Jose and Silicon
Valley) Morgan
Stanley report says there's nothing to fear from Y2K June 21,
1999. Submitted by Ron Cuchetti.
Stupid Politicians
Kansas City Missouri Councilwoman Teresa
Loar, co-chairwoman of the Mid-America Regional Council's Y2K
Elected Officials Task Force: "I don't think we are going to have any
major disasters in Kansas City. ... There may be some glitches at the ATMs
and traffic lights, but other than that, I don't see any problems. ...
Utilities, public safety, banking and water department leaders --
everybody assures me that their systems will be up and running. ... I
seldom plan an hour ahead anyway. Y2K won't be any different for us."
Hmm...never planning more than an hour ahead, yet assuming
that everyone working on the Y2k problem does. We also wonder if she
got a snippy letter from the American Bankers Association too for mentioning
ATM's? Quoted on the Kansas City Star in the What,
me worry? section of their weekly Y2k news report, June 2, 1999.
Submitted first by Dave Morrison.
"Representatives of more than 170
countries are meeting to share information about their preparedness for
dealing with the so-called Y2K bug, which threatens computer operations at
the turn of the millennium. ... The conference organisers say it is
important the media portrays an accurate picture of the problem so scare
stories do not take hold. However, they are conducting some of their own
proceedings behind closed doors in order to ensure participants are
totally frank with each other about their country's true state of
readiness for the millennium."
Surely you can't be serious. Yes I am, and stop calling me
"Shirley". Call me "Frank" instead. Quoted
on BBC News UN
tackles millennium bug June 22, 1999. Submitted by Obed Salazar.
Stupid FAQ's
From Nextel's
Year 2000 Frequently Asked Questions web page:
"At midnight on December 31, 1999, if my phone does not work, is there
a number I can call?"
We're not making this up. It's number 10 on their list.
Submitted by Ed Walk.
The "Not Necessarily Reassuring" Department
"To nuclear energy's opponents, the
Chernobyl disaster showed that the consequences of a millennial meltdown
make even the tiniest chance of an accident unacceptable. "The very
term 'risk' implies some possibility of elimination, but when you look at
Chernobyl you see that the worst can always happen," said Dominic
Jenkins, nuclear campaigner for environmental group Friends of the Earth.
Meanwhile, in Britain, as much of the nation prepares to party over the
New Year, government engineers plan to hunker down in an emergency room --
just in case."
Do nuclear engineers know how to party or what?
Quoted on Reuters Scared
Of Y2k? Head For A Nuclear Reactor July 9, 1999. Submitted by
Linda Fitzpatrick.
And it's too short to post, but the U.S. Nuclear Energy Regulatory Commission's policy on non-compliant nuclear power plant facilities can be found in a short but interesting exchange on Y2KNEWSWIRE here. Submitted by Christine Greenwald.
And now the the unofficial list:
all those other entries whose sources couldn't be verified, but we liked anyway
Miscellaneous Y2k compliance responses
from necessarily unnamed vendors:
"We will forward our Year 2000 compliance information to you as soon
as we
fabricate it."
and
"...when the time goes past 11:59:59 on Dec 31st, it will
automatically roll
to Jan 01, 2001.."
Submitted by Ed Walk.
"None of these extreme events is likely
to come to pass. But there is supreme irony in the fact that some highly
educated people - computer programmers - could have gotten the world into
such a pickle by way of a relatively minor oversight. Feverishly and
single-mindedly writing their computer code in recent decades, programmers
apparently did not possess enough foresight and common sense to realize
that the year 2000 was just around the corner."
Yep. Blame the programmers, not the requirements.
From the book "Vital Signs 1999" by Lester R. Brown, et.al.,
page 11, paragraph 2, published by W.W. Norton & Company, 1999.
Submitted anonymously.