From Contest #16
And Now, On To This Contest's Candidates (the official list, in no particular order):
One french fry short of a Happy Meal®...
"Unfortunately, McDonald's was unable to provide a witness at our
July hearing, despite the fact that several well-known corporations were
there, including Ford Motor Co., Phillip Morris and Procter and
Gamble," reads the text of [Sen. Robert]
Bennett's prepared remarks. "(After) numerous attempts to
elicit testimony or any information from McDonald's, we received word last
week that McDonald's would not be testifying for the committee, nor would
they be offering a statement for the record or any other Y2K-related
information. ... [Sen. Christopher] Dodd is
expected to respond with a grimace-laden statement of his own: "That
is disappointing, given our experience that those who are often
best-prepared for Y2K are usually the most willing to testify. And those
who are unprepared don't often care to share that information with the
committee."
Imagine the horror if billions and billions of hamburgers
can't be served after 1/1/2000. Oh the humanity! Quoted on
CNNfn McDonald's
Withholds Y2K Info, Senate In A Pickle September 20, 1999.
Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.
"Karen Mullenhour,
43, of Wapakoneta, Ohio, says she's confident that Y2K will be a nonevent
because of the relative ease with which her employer, the local Girl
Scouts council, fixed its Y2K glitch. "Surely, everybody has records
on paper of some kind," she says. "I don't see the
problem." "
No, everybody does not always have paper records of some
kind. And (everyone say it with me) don't call me Shirley!
Quoted on USA Today Don't
worry, be prepared September 9, 1999. Submitted by Bill Adsit.
Andrew Healy,
Principal Counter Pollution Officer for the Scotland Marine Coastguard
Agency, "Some embedded computer chips in systems may read
9/9/99 as an end of file and they could stop functioning as they role over
from the nine to zero."
Huh? Does that mean my calendar rolls right over from
9/9/99 to 0/0/00? And by the way, even though the press hyped the heck out
of it, no one in the Y2k business expected any problems on
September 9, 1999. And for the same reason, don't believe the press
when they tell you that the lack of problems on 9/9/99 means that 1/1/2000
won't be a problem. There may be few problems or only minor problems
on 1/1/2000, but everyone in the Y2k business expects some problems on
January 1. Remember folks, even those organizations that are
reporting themselves "Y2k ready" are only making that claim for
"mission critical" systems...not the numerous little
non-critical systems they use on a day-to-day basis. Quoted on BBC UK:
Scotland Coastguard alert over '9-9-99' bug September 8, 1999.
Submitted by Lynn McQueen.
Alistair Hudson,
a computer expert with Anderson Consultants: "It is possible that on
September 9, thousands of people will simply be declared dead and their
accounts closed."
Or, it's just possible that some consultants are indeed
hyping the Y2k problem simply for their own gain. Quoted on CNNfn Millennium
Bug's little brother threatens to cause banking chaos September 6,
1999. Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.
Maj. Jim Dudley,
a logistics specialist for the Year 2000 computer issues for the
military's European Command: "The concern is between the bases. ...
We use leased communications lines mostly from in-country utilities. They
seem to be doing well, but we don't have a complete picture of where they
are."
You don't know where the lines are or you don't know where
the phone companies are? Quoted on The New York Times (registration
required) Worry
for the Pentagon: Overseas Bases When the Year '00 Dawns September 8,
1999. Submitted by Michael Tow.
"Ken" the Cockroach
I hate it when the real world is funnier
than me...
"The [New Zealand]Y2K Readiness
Commission has pulled an advertisement advising households to prepare for
the millennium bug, in which its symbol, Cockroach Ken, says: "If the
worst comes to the worst, I can always eat a wife." <snip> The
commission confirmed the advertisement had been changed after two
screenings because it might have offended people. "Someone got
concerned about it being politically incorrect," communications
manager Lyle Griffiths said."
Hey, at least they didn't insinuate that ATM's might have
problems! Quoted on the New Zealand Press On-line Y2K
advert dropped August 31, 1999. Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.
Sunggu Aritonang,
head of Indonesian state electricity provider PT PLN's millennium bug task
force: "We can observe what happens in Western Samoa, New Zealand and
Australia, and have six hours to make plans."
Dinner plans, perhaps. Quoted on Rueters via Y2KToday
Indonesia's
State Electricity Provider Confident about Y2K April 30, 1999.
Submitted by Sam Valain.
Chuck Payne,
manager of Ray's Hardware and Sporting Guns in Dallas, on his plan to have
a gun at home and special security staff at his store when the new year
arrives: "I'm not expecting anything," he said, "but I'm
not going to be standing around with my pants down saying, 'Go ahead and
shoot me in the butt.' "
Now *that* would be a good New Year's Eve party to
avoid. Quoted on The Dallas Morning News Texans
aren't gun-shy: Fears about Y2K, controls boost sales August 18,
1999. Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.
"According to the [Michigan Militia
Corps Wolverines] commanders, everything may start to falter on September
9 when the computers of the global positioning system, the international
satellite-controlled compass system for aircraft and ships, will be
confronted by the date 9/9/99, causing it to malfunction."
And you people all thought that the GPS rollover was *last*
month. Quoted on the London Sunday Times Militia
joins up with FBI to fight anarchy August 15, 1999. Submitted by
Bob Renckly.
Brig. Gen. Gary
Ambrose, director of the Air Force Y2K Office: "We'll be
flying and fighting in January 2000 for sure."
Er, does he know something we don't? Quoted on
Federal Computer Week Air
Force passes Y2K test with flying colors August 16, 1999.
Submitted by Linda Fitzpatrick.
Walter J. Andrews,
counsel to the Insurers' Year 2000 Roundtable: "There's no need to
spend hundreds of millions of dollars to save a loss. ... You want a way
to save a loss? Unplug the computer."
Now you know why very few lawyers are working to *fix* the
Y2K problem. Quoted on the Wall Street Journal (Requires
registration) Insurance
Industry, Firms Battle Over Y2K Payments August 16, 1999.
Submitted by Patrick Shannon.
Marine Col. A.T.
Alauria, the Training Division Operations, Plans and Policy chief
for USSOCOM, on the fact that some of the military systems tested turned
up a February 30, 2000 date: "For a leap year, that’s a
problem."
And for a regular year too, we might add. Quoted on Fayetteville
(N.C.) Observer-Times Military
tests how Y2K bug can affect national security August 12, 1999.
Submitted by Fred Holborn.
And now the the unofficial list:
all those other entries whose sources couldn't be verified, but we liked anyway
In a local newspaper a reporter asked several
people if they were ready for Y2K. One man said and I quote "Oh, I'll
be overseas then so it won't affect me at all."
Submitted by Ken Molitor.