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 The First (And Probably Last*) Annual
Duh-2000 Awards
(*since we assume by this time next year no one will really care)
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The Lifetime Achievement Award
goes to US Y2k czar John Koskinen, for being nominated to
this contest more times than any other single individual. Even though we haven't selected
him as a monthly winner (yet), we feel the sheer volume of his work qualifies him for this
award. Some samples:
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John Koskinen when asked how the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was
preparing for Y2K: "Well, we've been trying to get them to focus on this
problem."
Try harder, John. If only one agency of the Federal government is to have a
plan for Y2k, one would think it should be FEMA, wouldn't one? Quoted on Westergaard
Year 2000 Federal Government is
Botching Year 2000 Efforts by Jim Lord (who knows what he's talking about) September
21, 1998.
John Koskinen on the prospect
of an accidental Y2k-inspired nuclear attack: "We have been assured that any actions
taken are not all computerised. Every action – launching a missile, engaging in any
military actions – requires human intervention, so that we are reasonably confident
there will not be accidents in terms of systems automatically going off on their
own".
Is it just us, or is anyone else bothered by the use of the phrase "reasonably
confident" in the same sentence as "launching a missile?" Quoted on
AFR Net Services Clinton's
tsar clears Games on Y2K hurdle October 28, 1998.
John Koskinen on his role:
"Would we do better if I stood up tomorrow and said this is a national crisis?"
Uh, yep. Quoted in Time, Why
The Government's Machines Won't Make It, June 15, 1998
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The award for Stupidest Effort to
Politicize Y2k goes to Newt Gingrich, Speaker of the
U.S. House of Representatives. for his comment: "Year 2000 is total downside risk for
Clinton and Gore ... If nothing goes wrong, they get no gain whatsoever. If [government
computers] crash and burn, Mr. Information Superhighway has a real problem and will get a
lot of heat."
Well, now there's a good reason to underfund the effort to keep the
government from going toes up. Actually, there will probably be plenty of "heat"
to go around. Quoted on TechWeek Gingrich’s take on Y2K
August 24, 1998. Submitted by Lee McLamb.
The award for Stupidest Vendor
Compliance Statement goes to: "The current release is year 2000 compliant, and
the next release will be even more year 2000 compliant".
Anonymous vendor response to a Y2k compliance query. Submitted by Kay
Rozeboom.
And we decided not to give an award for Stupidest Journalism, since there were so many worthy contenders
tied for the top spot... |